*Data Queen* has entered the chat.
I gathered data from 380+ women and 400+ men. The question asked came from someone from our instagram community. (If you aren’t yet following along on Insta, you’re missing out on some juicy data & content).
A guy DM’d me saying that his current partner asked him how many people he’s had sex with in the past. He mentioned how he felt the need to lie to her because he thought it was a trick question; that nothing positive would come from it.
It got me thinking… why would we need to know this information about someone? Some people argued that they want to make sure their partner is “clean”. Excuse me, but “clean vs dirty” are terms to be used during laundry, not for your or someone else’s sexual health/ history.
Should your partner’s body count matter?
First and foremost, it’s important to reflect on why you might feel the need to know this about your partner’s past. I believe there is a line between fun pillow talk where you explore sexual desires and fantasies vs digging into their past for reasons that may be stemming from your insecurities. I’d recommend taking the time to deeply reflect on if this information is actually beneficial to you and your relationship.
If you’re concerned about your partners sexual health, you can ask them when they last got tested. Asking how many sexual partners they have had isn’t an effective or beneficial question in my opinion.
Check out the questions corresponding data from our instagram community:
Do you want to know how many intimate partners your partner has had?
Should you ask how many people your partner has slept with? — SELF CARE EVERY DAMN DAY is written by Stephanie Daily for www.selfcareeverydamnday.com